Anna

Day Seventeen

Hadn't seen you since I fell off my dinosaur

Was full of sadghetti and you owed me zilch

but turned up, dog and smile in-tow

rosy like I remembered.

Skadoodled 'round the park, pretendin'

you were walkin' the dog

not walkin' me.

Had this way of sayin' you were okay

without me feelin' sore about it.

You, proud of your lads.

Me, wonderin' how to say sorry

for bumpin' ugly in a drunk front room

for walkin' away at the school gates.

Every so often, you'd shoot me a nudge;

nothin' special, 'cept everythin' I needed.

One time, I took too long to work thumbs

and in the meanwhile you dropped dead.

Scrollin' up, checkin'

blue ticks rubber stampin'

Thanks for being so nice.

Pitiful, really, but

at least there was that

At least there was that. 

Was thinkin' 'bout your sons,

'bout your other half doin' CPR in the kitchen,

but really I was thinkin' o' me, thinkin' -

No. I was only just startin' to feel

I was worth a nudge.

Worth a walk in the park.

Was first time hearin' a eulogy

I caught every shiny bubble blown,

knowin' each to be so godawful true.

And everyone packin' out the chapel -

did you save all their lives, too?

Was standin', wouldn't fit-in, 

lookin' in thru the ghastly glass.

Just standin' with my grief in the glass.

Thinkin' 'bout still standin'.