More Plagiarism

Bit late with this one; to re-write a famous poem. I don't know many famous poems so I do not like this prompt one bit and I've just done something a bit silly. I don't know if this is a famous one but for your dubious pleasure I present How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear by Mr. Lear, re-worked with my own artless spin.

How Dreadful to Know Mr. Hat

How dreadful to know Mr. Hat,
He writes god-awful crap every day,
He pretends to be clever and that,
But he really has nothing to say.

His brain's a round hole with square peg,
His fingers chewed down to the stump,
His head is as bald as an egg,
And it's firmly stuck right up his rump.

He spends all the live long day yawning,
His peepers are terribly bloodshot,
He can't rouse himself for the morning,
As his mind stops him sleeping a good lot.

He likes playing at World of Tanks,
(It's a daft shooty computer game),
But he gets annoyed at trolling cranks,
And the terrible cunts who can't aim.

He loves to drink plenty of tea,
and delights in the odd chicken parmo,
It's a chicken and cheese dish you see,
For those not from Teesside who don't know.

When driving his mother's old Clio,
He's frightened he'll squash an old lady,
He doesn't stall as much as she, though,
So he must quite capable, maybe.

Being a lover of music,
He plays guitar keenly does our Rob,
You can listen to him if you choose it,
And then tell him don't give up the day job.

He lives with a mutt they call Pippin,
Who he loves like a brother quite dearly,
Except when he warrants a whipping,
Then he throttles the old bastard nearly.



This is my first real disaster of a poem. Well the first two verses were ok but I'm not starting again. I'm sorry the internet.