Loser

You know that feeling of something you love
coming to the end you wished for
yet hoped would never come.
Today I felt that and thought of loss;
How it feels as though forgotten
is my writing and reading.
I hear nothing anymore but
the silence of the night,
hushed black and empty space,
my loss is forever grasping at a dream
and wishing I'd not woken.
Wishing for sleep and forgetfulness.
Looking for ladders and lying with snakes.
Resigned to an end but for that one
good, pure thing, holding me here,
saying what if? what if
there was a will or a way
and what if there was peace
peace from this waiting for the end.
You know that feeling when you're just so sick
but there are things to do.